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搞笑英语段子:英语花式骂人技巧

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  中文吐槽吐得腻味了?是时候冲出亚洲,走向世界了!歪果仁骂起人来可一点不比咱嘴软,搞笑短信网认为我们一定要掌握好以下,提高吐槽姿势水平,方能在居家旅行、面对小贱人之时掌握主动权。有句话怎么说来着,嘴上功夫深,铁杵磨成针。
 
  1.
 
  She's got a body that won't quit and a brain that won't start.
 
  她身材维持得很好,大脑维持得更好,跟刚出生时没有区别。
 
  2.
 
  Go ahead, tell them everything you know. It'll only take 10 seconds.
 
  快,加油,勇敢地向大家展示你所有的知识,10秒应该够了。
 
  3.
 
  Ordinarily people live and learn. You just live.
 
  一般人活到老学到老,你只做到了前半部分。
 
  4.
 
  Twinkle twinkle little whore, close your legs, they're not a door.
 
  (只可意会不可言传,用小星星的原曲唱了出来…………)
 
  5.
 
  I don't exactly hate you, but if you were on fire and i had water, i'd drink it.
 
  其实我并不恨你,但是如果你着火了,我手里有水的话,我一定先干为敬。
 
  6.
 
  We do not complain about your shortcomings but about your long stayings.
 
  我们对你的短处没意见,我们就是希望你不要和我们处得太长。
 
  7.
 
  We heard that when you ra away from home your folks sent you a note saying,"Do not come home and all will be forgiven."
 
  听说你离家出走时,你家人给你捎了个信儿:“只要你不回来,我们就原谅你。”
 
  8.
 
  When God was throwing intelligence down to the Earth, you were holding an umbrella.
 
  上帝把智慧洒满人间,就你打了个伞。
 
  9.
 
  Do you want people to accept you as you are or do you want them to like you?
 
  你是想要人们接受最真实的你,还是想要人们喜欢你?
 
  10.
 
  When you die, I'd like to go to your funeral but I'll probably have to go to work that day. I believe in business before pleasure.
 
  你死了,请让我参加你的葬礼。但我那天可能要先上班,因为妈妈从小教育我,作业写完才能玩儿。
 
  11.
 
  You look like a before picture.
 
  你看起来像广告模特,前后对照组的左边那张。
 
  12.
 
  You should be the poster child for birth control.
 
  你应该当海报模特,宣传计划生育。
 
  13.
 
  You are pretty as a picture and we'd love to hang you.
 
  你美得像一幅画儿,我们都想找个绳儿把你吊起来。
 
  14.
 
  As an outsider, what do you think of the human race?
 
  作为局外人,你对人类有啥想法?
 
  15.
 
  If I wanted to kill myself I'd climb your ego and jump to your IQ.
 
  如果我要寻死,我就爬上你的自恃清高,跳入你的智商。
 
  16.
 
  Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
 
  你的出生证明,是杜蕾斯寄给你父母的一封道歉信。
 
  17.
 
  Maybe if you ate some of that makeup you could be pretty on the inside.
 
  你买点儿化妆品吧,吃了,增加一些内在美。
 
  18.
 
  You are proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.
 
  一个鲜活的你,证明自然演化可以逆向进行。
 
  19.
 
  Every time I'm next to you, I get a fierce desire to be alone.
 
  每次靠近你,我都特别特别渴望孤独。
 
  20.
 
  I thought of you all day today. I was at the zoo.
 
  在动物园待了一整天,睹物思人,看见什么都想起你。
 
  21.
 
  I would ask you how old you are but I know you can't count that high.
 
  想问问你几岁啊,不过估计你也算不过来。
 
  为什么要伤害我们的眼镜!
 
  22.
 
  You're so ugly when you went to a haunted house they offered you a job.
 
  你太丑了,你去鬼屋,别人问你愿不愿意马上换衣服上班。
 
  23.
 
  God made coke, God made pepsi, God made me, oh so sexy, God made rivers, God made lakes, God made you...well we all make mistakes.
 
  上帝造了可口可乐,也造了百事可乐。上帝造了我,啊,多么性感。上帝造了河流,上帝造了湖泊,上帝造了你…………这个嘛,孰能无过?
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